The Thing About Selfishness: It's Good For Your Identity
What's the reason behind the selflessness crusaders? Those who claim that the world is better off when we do selfless acts of kindness?That selfishness is a one-way ticket out of the good book of life?
I'll tell you what's the deal with that. Let's begin by considering what Selflessness is. At my big age, I see it as limited view towards the golden rule that was put forth by that man Jesus somewhere in the new testament. I'm not the most religious person, but a majority of Christians have no idea how the golden rule was intended to work. 'Love your brother as you love yourself' is a profound rule of life.
But for the rule to work you must understand it. The tail end of it says 'as you love your self'. Meaning that before you can even begin to demonstrate love to others, you must first show that love for the Self. Your Self. Pay attention here, because this is where Selfishness, and hence my argument comes in.
Selfishness is the root of all actions. Everything you do is geared towards Self-fulfillment. From acts of kindness to acts of self preservation. Each time you do anything, in the context of others, you are really doing it to gain or cement your sense of self. From donating to charity, tithing, (and especially tithing!), giving lose change to the street beggar, to paying school fees for your kids, taking friends out for lunch to, fill in the blank. These are all selfish things that we do. And for some reason we oftentimes think they are selfless acts of generosity. That we are doing it with no strings attached. Just In: There is always strings attached!
This is because by giving, sharing and helping, we by default benefit from the feelings of self worth that we end up with after performing these acts. An example for you is the philanthropist who sleeps like a baby at night knowing they are making the world a better place. Do you know how Selfish that is? And yes, its fine to be Selfish in that way.
The notion that Selfishness should be discarded is utter bullshit. The only reason you want to be there for someone while they navigate a shitty moment in life, is because in that moment, you feel useful. By feeling useful, you are able to confirm that your contribution is felt in real tangible ways thereby affirming your existence. And more importantly, affirming your idea of who you are. Otherwise known as your identity.
Identity is the bees knees of personal existence. You know yourself by the things you do. Through the so called Selfless acts, what you are doing is affirming yourself as a person who helps and improves other people's situations. This mental frame will lead to the discovery that essentially, you are being very Selfish.
Look here Jackson, hear ye Jane, its okay to be Selfish. Just stop thinking that Selfishness is a 'bad' thing. It's the heart of nearly everything that you do for others.
